Lazy Son

It was 5:00 a.m and the father went to his son Shawn’s bedroom door, knocked and said,
“Son, it’s time to get up. Jump in the shower and we’ve got to leave ASAP to catch any fish.”
Soon it was 5:30 and dad had the coffee brewing, the boat hooked up and he just finished
packing the truck, when he noticed Shawn still wasn’t up.
Furious the dad pounded on his son’s bedroom door a second time and yelled,
“Jesus rose from the dead and you can’t even get out of Bed!”
To which the son replies, “Yeah, but it took Jesus three days!!”

# # #

Afraid of the Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark.
One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,”
she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little.
Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”

Visiting Pastor

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members.
At one house, it was obvious that someone was home,
but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times.
Finally, the preacher took out his card, wrote out “Revelation 3:20” on the back of it, and stuck it in the door.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me.
- Revelation 3:20
The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate.
Below the preacher’s message was written the following notation:
I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.
- Genesis 3:10

# # #

A Special Hymn

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said,
“If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
With even greater emphasis he said,
“And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
And then finally, he said,
“And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile,
“For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.”

The Devil And The Golfer

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.
The golfer says to himself, “I’d give anything to sink this next putt.”
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, “Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?”
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps
this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, “OK.”
And sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, “Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole.”
The same stranger moves to his side and says, “Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?”
The golfer shrugs and says, “Sure.” And he makes an eagle.
Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win.
Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says,
“Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?”
The golfer says, “Certainly.” And makes the eagle.
As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says,
“You know, I’ve really not been fair with you because you don’t know who I am.
I’m the devil and from now on you will have no sex life.”
“Nice to meet you,” says the golfer. “My name’s Father O’Malley.”

# # #

Satan Goes to Church

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their
local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and
their families.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance,
trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is
evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the
fact that God’s ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man
and says, “Hey, don’t you know who I am?” The man says, “Yep, sure do.”
Satan says, “Well, aren’t you afraid of me?” The man says, “Nope, sure ain’t.”
Satan, perturbed, says, “And why aren’t you afraid of me?” The man says, “Well, I’ve been married to your sister for 25 years.”

Rest in Peace

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the
foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on
either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked
up, stood beside him and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.”
“Good morning, Pastor,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
“Pastor McGhee, what is this?” Alex asked.
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the men and women who have died in the service.”
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex’s voice was barely audible when he finally managed to ask, “Which one, the 9:00 or 10:30 service?

# # #

So Far, So Good

So far today, God, I’ve done all right.
I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent.
I’m really glad about that.
But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help.
Thank you.

God’s Left Hand

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother.
His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning.
It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked… “doesn’t it look like an artist painted this scenery?
Did you know God painted this just for you?”
Bobby said, “Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.”
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him
“What makes you say God did this with his left hand?”
“Well,” said Bobby, “we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God’s right hand!”

# # #

Sunday Funnies

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!”
As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again.
As she ran she once again began to pray, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…
But please don’t shove me either!”

Speak Up

A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers,”Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night’s sleep.”

Suddenly he looked up and shouted, “And don’t forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!”
“There is no need to shout like that,” said his mother. “God isn’t deaf.”

“No,” said the little boy, “but Grandma is.”

# # #

In All Things Give Thanks

A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner.
The family members bowed their heads in expectation.
He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one.
Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles.
Then he began to thank God for the food.
He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes,
even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone waited–and waited.
After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked,
“If I thank God for the broccoli, won’t he know that I’m lying?”

One of my MOST favorite authors is TAMA KIEVES.  I just HAD to share her latest newsletter with you because it SOOOOO touched my heart, as most of Tama’s writings do! : )  If it touches YOUR heart too, please leave a comment! : )  Blessings and THANKS ~ Steph

Your Secret Self:
Awakening the Powers of the Inspired Self

You have no idea how strangely magical you are.

Most of us could never imagine the fire and promise we hold. We live in a culture that tells us to be “realistic.” That means dampen our enthusiasms and compromise our vision. We are encouraged to bow to the known world, and shun our unknown powers. But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to listen to our inspired hearts, spread our full peacock feathers, and awaken the invincible love inside us. We’re here to discover, express, and unleash our true capacity.

“When you follow inspiration,  . . .  you take a different track and love replaces fear and ease eclipses struggle”

When you follow inspiration, you follow an invitation to be more than you knew you were. You tap unlimited powers. You can sing, you can heal, you can run a business, and you can meet the people you need to meet. It’s where you take a different track and love replaces fear and ease eclipses struggle. Julia Cameron writes “Our dreams come from a divine source. Moving in the direction of our dreams moves us toward our divinity.” Yet, how many of us, in the name of safety, have spent a life time trying to put a cork on the genie? But that which fascinates you grants you wings. Anything you love holds power. There are miracles waiting for you in the “forbidden country” of your true desires.

But most of us deny our inspired selves. We choose tired lives instead. I know I did. I had always wanted to be a writer, but like many creative individuals, I was told that writing wouldn’t make me money. Surely, it would make me take heroin or date someone other than a lawyer or a dentist. That’s the message I got growing up in Brooklyn, New York with practical and opinionated Orthodox Jewish parents.

With buried dreams, I slogged through Harvard Law School. Later, I worked for a huge corporate law firm. Then one day, I just couldn’t go on. I didn’t want to live one more day as a lawyer, no matter how much money I made. I felt as though I was dying. I thought I was broken, wounded, and incapable of a normal adult life. I didn’t know I was falling apart, because there was another part of myself that was so strong and filled with love and creativity it couldn’t bear one more day of denying its true life and contribution. That was the day I felt this wildness in my bones I didn’t understand and I couldn’t control. That was the day I met my secret self.

“When we crave something we think is impossible, that’s Brilliant Life handing us a holy invitation.”

Rufus Wainwright wrote about the secret self like this: “Someone I am is waiting for courage. The one I want, the one I will become will catch me.” That’s how this works. We are drawn to where we belong. When we crave something we think is impossible, that’s Brilliant Life handing us a holy invitation. Our desires are our doorways. They lead us into a new world, a new way of being in this world, and with new powers to bring to this world.

But again I didn’t know any of this when I felt like I was falling apart. I discovered it when I quit my legal career to explore writing. I spent 12 years writing my first book This Time I Dance! Creating the Work you Love, without a publisher or an agent. I began to support myself by teaching classes in creative writing, creating the work you love, and the spiritual program A Course in Miracles, along with waiting tables or doing legal research. Despite the persistent shadows and fears, I found this woman who consistently dared to trust her instincts more than facts. I’d never met this woman before. Somehow, she sprung forth, a fierce emotional warrior, from my dedication to writing. Perhaps it’s because writing brought me sweeping joy and joy gave me a new sense of direction, authority, and stamina. And when I landed a major publishing contract with Tarcher/Penguin the publishing house of my dreams, I wept with gratitude.

It was so much more than just getting a book deal, which was my dearest dream. It was that I had this presence inside me who could guide me anywhere, into any territory, in a way that felt natural and unassailable to me. I had never even thought to dream of having this kind of strength. The Divine had finally become real to me. I could finally feel the Love of the Universe because I was doing something that I loved. Sometimes, you just don’t know what’s in your tool kit until you try a different tool. I urge you to put down the hammer of “practicality.” Do something you love for just an hour and see if you don’t feel safer and fuller in your life.

Sometimes you don’t know your secrets yet, because you haven’t found what interests you. But once you encounter what absorbs you, the laws of gravity flutter, your cells twitter into champagne bubbles, and your identity changes. Albert Einstein was actually considered to be mentally slow. But at the age of 14, someone gave him a book about geometry. Einstein devoured it. Linda Kavelin Popov writes, “It was as if his mind was awakened from after a long sleep. He became a voracious reader of books on philosophy. He went on to teach at Princeton University, discover the theory of relativity and unlock the secrets of the universe.” Einstein originally seemed like a misfit. Yet his secret self was a philosophic and scientific genius, only requiring his true interests to unlock his great nature.

This secret self still never ceases to amaze me. If you told me years ago, that I’d not only have the courage to write a book on my own for 12 years, but later I’d travel around the country speaking to thousands, I would have told you it was impossible. I have anxiety issues, for God’s sake. I’m Jewish and rational and trained to think like a lawyer, someone who sees the liabilities lurking in absolutely everything. And yet, here I am jumping on planes, walking alone in new cities, stepping up to the mike, and telling thousands of people that you “can’t plan an inspired life.” Who is this woman I wonder? And yet I know. She is the woman I was born to be. She is the woman who is born in me because I’m inspired, aligned and enflamed by love, clarity, creativity and conviction. I know I will discover more resources as I deepen. I love this adventure of discovering new engines, wings, and veins of gold.

Years ago, I witnessed the perfect metaphor for this secret self. I live in Colorado where it tends to be sunny and dry. One year we got more moisture than usual. Later that week, I had new plants present themselves in my garden. They just sprung up. Of course when I saw these new flowers that I’d never planted, I wondered if I hadn’t been blessed by the handiwork of urban fairies. But a gardener friend had another explanation. She told me that the seeds had always been there. Until now, they hadn’t gotten sufficient moisture. But with the new weather conditions, the seeds had finally gotten what they needed to grow into their potential.

The seeds had always been there.

And so it is with you. You are meant to flourish. And if you give yourself the right conditions, you will unfurl, surprise and delight yourself. Inspiration calls you to surpass your present conditions, and blossom into your whole self, your true unassailable nature. It’s not a life of holding on to what you know, but daring to discover the abundance that you do not know. I urge you to embody all that you were born to be. You have so many more resources than you know.

With my love and blessings,

Tama

©Copyright 2008-2009 Tama J. Kieves. All rights reserved.

Feel free to forward this copy to anyone you think might enjoy it.
Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. Thank you.

Henry, who was very elderly, was unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and steal one out of the entrance porch when the worshipers were busy praying.

When Henry arrived at the church an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entire sermon on ‘The Ten Commandments.’
After the service, Henry met the vicar in the vestibule doorway, shook his hand vigorously, and told him, ‘I want to thank you Father for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it.’

The vicar answered, ‘You mean the commandment ‘ Thou shall not steal’ changed your mind?’
‘No, ‘retorted Henry, ‘the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that, I remembered where I had left my old hat.’

The 11th Commandment

Bible Study
Richard, my friend’s little grandson came home from Sunday School and I asked him what they had studied.
His reply was, ‘Nothing.’
So I asked him, ‘Didn’t you study Jesus?’
Richard’s reply was, ‘No, he wasn’t even there.’

You are always molding yourselves into a better feeling place. And you will never get it done. It will never be completely finished. It will never be absolutely right. You will always have some dominant thoughts that are not a vibrational match to the newfound desire.

But that is always what your work is.

And it’s time for you to just begin relaxing about it, and not make it a personal issue of your own valor, or your own value, or your own integrity. In other words, it’s just, how many times have I thought this thought?

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in San Rafael, CA on Friday, March 9th, 2001

Our Love,
Jerry and Esther Hicks

=================

WOW!

Did I need to hear THAT this morning! : )

How many times a day do you beat yourself up because you recognize a thought that is not of a high vibration?  Even as I write that I realize how silly it is, yet I confess!  I do it A LOT!

So many times in life it is not about the vibration or the thought or the incident itself — it is about the JUDGMENT we put on it  — and usually with a giant NEGATIVE spin!

What if for the next 24 hours we just allowed ourselves to recognize our vibrations, our thoughts, make a choice perhaps to change the thought if it is not bringing us joy, AND NOT JUDGE THE THOUGHT OR OURSELVES as WRONG for having it?

What if? : )

Would love to hear your experiences and comments! : )

Blessings!